Do you ever feel stuck? Helpless? Hopeless? Like things just suck right now and you have no idea how to get out of it. If this resonates, keep reading.
These feelings are hard to handle. Sometimes they visit one after another, until we find ourselves trapped in one big bundle of “Fuck this!” We don’t know where to begin to explain what’s bothering us. And we don’t see any way out of the situation.
Several times a day, I notice that I ask myself, “How can I empower myself in this moment?” You see, this horrible helpless feeling visits me sometimes. Sometimes, I feel helpless because there’s a misunderstanding in a relationship of mine and I don’t know how to make it better. Sometimes, I feel stuck because I fee like I’m getting nowhere in my career and I get so impatient. I want to find quick solutions, but this never works. So I go back to my question:
“How can I empower myself in this moment?”
I don’t know what images swim into your mind when you read the word “empower”, but I want to make sure you don’t think I’m talking about having everything figured out. I’m not speaking about bringing out your magic wand and solving the issue. I’m not talking about making drastic decisions that will suddenly change your life. I’m just talking about little things. Identifying what you need in this moment and taking tiny steps to meet it.
How to use the question
A few months ago, my husband and I received an Ikea delivery. I was so excited! Finally, brand new furniture that was going to bring warmth and our sense of style to our apartment. Boxes lay all over my kitchen floor and corridor, hindering free-flowing movement. Obviously, I wanted to move them all out of the way as soon as possible.
Pete was at work and would be until late that evening. With his packed schedule for the next few weeks, I knew I was going to have to be patient in getting all this furniture into place.
My excitement faded and I began feeling defeated. I didn’t know how to assemble furniture! I was convinced I needed Pete. But then I thought, “How can I empower myself in this moment?” I remembered that this was Ikea furniture, so it comes with assembly instructions. Even though I’d never done this before, all I had to do was try. If it was really too difficult for me to do, I could stop where I was and ask Pete for help later. What’s the worst that could happen?
So, I started unpacking boxes, reading instructions, and screwing nails into wood. I purposefully didn’t attempt the heavier items since my fibromyalgia won’t allow it. And I reminded myself to move slowly – Rome wasn’t built in a day, and my living room didn’t need to be either! A couple of hours later, I had assembled shelves and the rocking chair I’m sitting in right now.
The Snowball Effect – in a good way
I realise that assembling furniture isn’t one of life’s big problems. But looking at the little obstacles with empowerment contributes to me having an overall attitude of, “I can do this”. The more often I ask myself the empowerment question, the more empowered I feel overall because I always find a solution. The solution may not completely eradicate the problem, but it may lead me to someone who can give me guidance, or it may remind me to practice patience, or it might encourage me to try something I’ve never done before.
So, my dear friend, what is your need right now? And how can you empower yourself in this moment?