I know there are times when you feel like you’re not doing as well as some other people. Maybe it looks like they have it all together: good job, good relationship, money in the bank. And where are you, right? Maybe you’re in a job you don’t like, or you can’t seem to make a relationship stick, or maybe you just manage to pay your bills. Whatever it is, we all go through times when we feel like we’re just not good enough.
When we are not aware of our feelings of inadequacy, we move from a place of fear. We try to quell our insecurities in whatever way we can: we work non-stop, we try to be better than others, we buy things we can’t afford to prove our worthiness. So, the fact that you are aware of something that makes you feel “less than”, is a good thing! Because now, you don’t have to act blindly from that space.
Why you are not “less than”
I’ve said this a thousand times and I will say it a thousand times more: We are all in process. We are all incomplete. Even those who look like they’ve succeeded or have it altogether, they are also in process.
It is a good thing to notice that there are areas of yourself that you would like to work on. I am all about self-development. But I want us to redefine this self-improvement: we are not working on ourselves because we are no good and need to improve to be worthy. We work on ourselves because we want to grow from a place of already being good enough.
How perfectionism screws us over
No matter how much we achieve in this life, we will always remain incomplete to some extent. There will always be new possibilities for us, new fears to understand, new relationship conflicts, new money struggles. We will never reach some perfected state of being.
To constantly strive for perfection leaves us drained, unsatisfied and feeling stuck. When we’re exhausted it saps our ability to think creatively, making us even less able to get to our desired goal. So, I invite you to choose to let go of your pestering thoughts that insist you be perfect. Instead, choose to be satisfied with good enough, so that you can have enough energy left to seek creative possibilities for growth.
Seeking creative growth
When there is an area of your life that you are not happy with, use the following 4 steps to guide you to grow from a place of good enough:
- Acknowledge the situation you are not happy about. Don’t beat yourself up. Remember this is just a part of you in a life that is already good enough. Acknowledge what you’d like to work on and what about it isn’t working for you at the moment. I find the most helpful way to do this is to free-write about the situation. Here is a prompt to help you get started: What about my current situation is making me unhappy?
- Set an intention. With your awareness of what’s not working, set an intention to grow in the way that you want to. Write your intention down. Ex. “I want to find a way to feel less anxiety around work” or “I want to end the month with some money to save.”
- Ask for help. Ask for whatever support you may need to achieve your goal. Whether this be seeking professional guidance, reading books, or speaking to trust-worthy friends about it.
- Let it be. Don’t work so hard! If the intention you set is really something you want, your energy will align with your goal to make it happen. So trust the process of growth. Be patient, and let life work it’s magic.
With love from your in-process friend,