When we were kids, we interacted with the adults around us and through them, we received a representation of how the world is. For most of us, this representation looked something like this:
Mum does most of the disciplining, the playing and housekeeping. Dad works and pays bills.
Yes, it’s true. Women are at a huge disadvantage when it comes to being a part of the workforce. Why? Well, we’re joining it much later than men, and we don’t have that many female role models to show us how to do it.
How can we balance growing a business and raising children? How do I suddenly begin voicing my opinions at work, when all my life I’ve allowed men to speak before me? How do I believe in myself enough to negotiate the fee that my work deserves, when men have been in this game for way longer and know the rules of it better?
We all inherit beliefs about ourselves and the people around us. These beliefs either support us to accomplish our hopes and dreams, or hinder us from doing so.
To be able to evolve to a place where men and women are valued equally, we have a lot of internal work to do. Yes, that’s right – I said “internal”. We can’t expect society to change unless we begin to shift on an individual level. Real change happens slowly but surely when we work on it.
Women, if we want to be on an equal playing field to men, we need to start challenging those limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves. “Am I skilled enough for this position?”, “No one will ever pay me that much!”, “Maybe I shouldn’t have kids so I can keep my career?”
These are all valid concerns and they’re concerns that sometimes can make us feel extreme anger towards our men.
Why should we quit our careers, right?! They’re his children too!
The thing is, we have to remember that men are our allies, not our enemies. Just like we’ve been locked in roles for way too long, so have they. We were taught to stay quiet, be polite and serve. They were taught to not cry even when it hurts, that they are valued based on how much money they bring home, and that if they don’t get hard at the drop of a bra, then they’re a giant pussy.
We’re not the only ones who crave change. I don’t know many men who don’t wish they had deeper, richer connections with their loved ones, but have no clue how to make that happen.
To achieve the change we want to see, we need to stop pushing against each other, and start listening to each other. We need to make space for the conflicting, complex beliefs we all have about ourselves and one another. Instead of forcing our viewpoints, we need to practice compassion.
We’ve both been stuck in roles.
Let’s help ourselves and each other to get unstuck.
Here’s a video where I address some of the specific beliefs both women and men hold and how these beliefs can interrupt our ability to play fair. It’s through each of us acknowledging our own and each other’s experiences that we can progress to where we want to be.
You don’t have the power to change the whole world at once, but
you have the power to create change within yourself, and that change has a ripple effect on the people around you.
Be the change you want to see.
If you want to challenge your limiting beliefs so that you can create the life you really want, sign up for your complimentary Lifestyle Strategy Session with Emma.