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How to Grow Through Challenging Times in Relationships

Posted on February 20, 2019February 20, 2019

by Emma Hogg, Founder of A Life I Choose

All relationships go through challenging times that can make you wonder if you still belong together. Here are 5 tips for strengthening the safety in your relationship, so you can navigate the difficulties in a way that will allow you both to really grow through the experience.

With love,

Emma Hogg, Founder of A Life I Choose, Psychotherapist and Life & Joy Strategist

Relationship dynamics are complex! Get guidance and challenge so you can navigate your relationship in a way that brings you more joy and harmony. Sign up for your complimentary Lifestyle Strategy Session with Emma today.

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Emma Hogg, Founder of A Life I Choose

Hi! I'm Emma. I’m a psychotherapist who lives, breathes and eats the science of joyfulness, wellness and achievement. All the work I do is fuelled by my deep wish to belong to a world where people actively choose their lives! A person without choice is an unhappy individual. A person who passionately and resiliently lives their purpose experiences joy and fulfilment daily. If you’re like me and you see that the more people are consciously engaging in life, the happier our world will be, then we need you to be a beacon of this message by living it! My blog is one of my ways of creating dialogue with you, so that together, we can have a greater impact on our world. x View all posts by Emma Hogg, Founder of A Life I Choose

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One thought on “How to Grow Through Challenging Times in Relationships”

the #1 Itinerary February 20, 20192:54 pm Reply

Great post 😁

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Hi! I’m Emma.

I’m a psychotherapist who lives, breathes and eats the science of joyfulness, wellness and achievement. I’m the Founder of A Life I Choose, a self-development agency that guides clients to amplify their strengths so they can overcome any challenge and create the life they really want.

All the strategy sessions, workshops and talks I give are fuelled by my deep wish to belong to a world where people actively choose their lives! A person without choice is an unhappy individual. A person who passionately and resiliently lives their purpose experiences joy and fulfilment daily.

If you’re like me and you see that the more people are actively engaging in life, the happier our world will be, then we need you to be a beacon of this message by living it! My blog is one of my ways of creating dialogue with you, so that together, we can have a greater impact on our world.

With love x

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There was a time in my life when my world had become very small. I was in pain from head to toe, I couldn't think straight, getting through the day was just torture and sleep offered no healing and recovery. Getting off medication for #fibromyalgia was a real rollercoaster ride - from the hope of getting my life back on track to the reality of having a stroke a month later. I worried that my life might always be this way if I lived much longer. That fear and the urgency I felt to fix it was the greatest gift of my life! I researched the condition like crazy, I got down to understanding on a cellular level what's happening with the mitochondria and on a psychological level, the beliefs and needs that were keeping me sick. It's almost 1 year 9 months since the stroke and my life has surpassed what I thought was possible! I get the occasional #flareup but it passes with rest and patience. I now live an active lifestyle- yoga, walks, swims and recently circuit training! I eat a diet of 90% whole foods and I meditate and visualise my body being in a peak state of health always. Having my life back has been the most beautiful gift and i am so grateful for it that I commit to enjoying every single day. But being sick was a gift in itself- it taught me patience, it taught me abt the human needs for love, connection, significance and growth. It taught about energy, decisiveness, identity and strength. Without dipping so low, I wouldn't have risen so high. So, thank you life, for always having my back! And thank you Pete, my beautiful companion throughout this journey XXX #fibro #lovelife #fitlife #psychologicalfitness #alifeichoose

About a month ago, I made a commitment to myself to have more fun. It feels like a really weird goal to set... in fact when I set it, it felt like kind of a non-goal. Up until now my goals have always been about work, money, my body and mind - improvement and achievement. Things that I can measure. It's easy for me to stay in work-mode because I love it. But like anyone else, I need to just goof off sometimes. And as A Life I Choose has gained momentum, it's becoming more and more apparent to me that it's vital for me to just have FUN often! I'm holding myself accountable to my 3 main goals for this year by vlogging my action-steps for my YT channel and I'm really enjoying the process. In only 4 weeks, I can see clearly how the simple decision to invite more fun into my life has brought with it more opportunities for connection and more calm and joy in general. It's been good for my focus, productivity and health. This week, no matter what's happening or how intense stuff gets, let's all commit to having FUN. #bethegenerator #bringthefun With love XXX Link to my YT channel @emma_alifeichoose #fun #fibromyalgia #wealthhacking #healthy #alifeichoose

You might not know that before I met Pete, I was planning my wedding with someone else. I had bought my dress, the church was booked, the venue was booked. All was good to go... Except me. I was having massive anxiety attacks and although I loved the man I was going to marry deeply, something within me knew this wasn't right for me. "I called off my wedding and this is what I learned about relationships" on the Good Faith Podcast with @cperegin is out now. Link @emma_alifeichoose . . . #relationships #lovehurts #lovelife #loveyourselffirst #alifeichoose

I've never considered myself a super "fun" person. Growing up I was mostly serious and I've always opted for an evening in with my books than for any kind of goofing around! This year, I've promised myself that I'll celebrate more. By this, I mean, I want to invite more fun and more playfulness into my life. In this eve's vlog, I open up to you about my 3 goals for this year (#plenty, #healthy, #wealthy) and I take my first action-step towards one of the goals with you. Follow my journey towards my 3 goals by subscribing to my YT channel. Link @emma_alifeichoose #goals #lovelife #designalifeyoulove #alifeichoose

I've had so much fun today editing tomorrow's vlog! It's all about goal-setting and celebration! I cant wait to share it with you! How are you doing?! 🤗👇 Photo by @larisadizdarphotography #goalsetting #love #celebration #selfdevelopment #lovelife #alifeichoose

When I receive a plant 🌵or a bunch of flowers 💐 it just LIGHTS ME UP. And I love to give flowers to others because I'm sure it lights them up too🌻! Today I bought flowers for my Grandmother. I want to invite you to buy flowers for someone for no other reason than you ❤ them! Comment down below who you're buying flowers for 👇, and commit to buying them in the next 3 days 📅. #lovemore #showlove #lightup #alifeichoose

My beautiful husband organised a photoshoot for us and so far I've been using our images to tell you about "Why we fall out of love"...am I a crappy wife or what???💩👰 But the truth is, even the most Instagrammable couples fall out of love 💔 and all I ever want is to keep it real with you. And I've checked with Pete and he's cool with it! PHEW! So, not such a bad wifey after all 😇 So, this msg is to let you know that the show @with_melaniekelly & I recorded on @xfm100.2 last wk is up on my YT channel now. Link👉 @emma_alifeichoose On this episode we discuss why we fall out of love 😔, whether it's possible to fall back in love 😍 and if so, how to do it. And when you've tried everything, how do you know when it's time to call it quits 🤔? #lovelife #lovehurts #lovesucks #loverules #couplegoals #alifeichoose

I'm in ❤ with journals. I have them in every room, in bags, different journals for different goals/subjects. Writing in journals helps me to make sense of my jumbled thoughts, to get clear on my intentions and to strategize meeting my goals. Pete knows a good gift for me is a good-looking journal! Do you ❤ journals too? Let me know what you use your journals for 👇 #journalling #knowthyself #goalsetting #strategy #alifeichoose

"Why do we fall out of love?" Join us for a conversation about LOVE: why we fall out of it, if it's possible to fall back in love, and how to decipher when it's time to call it quits. On "Lets Talk About Sex" @with_melaniekelly on @xfm100.2, tonight at 9pm. #couplegoals #love #authenticity #vulnerability #sharedvision #alifeichoose

Like any self-development journey, for it to be most effective, you need to get deep-down truthful with yourself- cut the excuses, embrace the fear, own your decisions, take action and reap the rewards. Be with us after each day at Unleash the Power Within with @tonyrobbins as we process our experiences - the best parts and the most challenging. Vlog link @emma_alifeichoose #upwlondon2019 #selfdevelopment #goals #fear #lovelife

I've been quieter on Instagram lately because I've been needing more time and space. Before the workshop in January, life was go, go, go. I thought the pace would calm down a bit after but work really picked up - which has been a wonderful wonderful side-effect of a project that meant so much to me! Helping people to heal, notice limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering ones, make challenging decisions and design their lives moving forward - this is what I love to do! It fills me with joy. At the same time, to be able to do this work effectively, I need to be focussed, clear-headed & warm-hearted. This means, I need to take care of myself. I can't be exhausted, I can't be burnt out, I can't be trying to please everyone. So, I've been scheduling time for me to rest & recover, and to be with those I love most and sometimes that means I'm not on Insta as much, and this week it even means, I won't have a new YT video out. My past self would have freaked at this lack of consistency. But right now, it's what I need to do to be able to focus on what's most important. What is most important for you to be focussing on right now? #lifeflux #priorities #rest #love #workwell #alifeichoose

DATE DAY yesterday was Pete's turn. We: 1) Got coffee where we bumped into lovely friends and had a good chat. Shout-out to Anna & @willprivitera 2) Went to check out @calleja.sarah 's new art exhibition at Gallery 23 in Balzan and fell in love with a beautiful painting that we're adopting! 3) Went to Gozo for a lazy afternoon: Lunch by the sea in the sunshine. Fresh fish and prosecco, followed be a walk. REST & RELAXATION. We focus so much on productivity and results. We undermine the importance of rest and relaxation. But when we don't allow ourselves to rest, we physically cannot recover from the stressful states we've been enduring and we mentally cannot integrate and make sense of our experiences. So we become a little (or a lot) imbalanced: we find ourselves irritated, frustrated, angry or sad habitually. That's when we start arguing with our partners, finding everything they do irritating, pushing for change within them. We need to prioritise rest & recovery. And we need to prioritise it with the people we love, so that we can be together without doing. We can just be - see each other, listen and enjoy each other's company ever so blissfully imperfectly. Link to "How to prioritise love when you're busy AF" @emma_alifeichoose. #love #couples #stress #rest #recovery #alifeichoose

When I was first invited to a SHE networking event, my initial reaction was to decline. I'm not a social butterfly. I like books, movies and cups of tea. Rooms filled with lots of people aren't my thing. But I kept having this nagging feeling that if I didn't go to the event, I'd be missing out on something exciting. So, I bought a ticket. I enjoyed my first networking experience but it wasn't like lightning hit me at that moment. I didn't become instantly successful. But I put myself out there, and slowly, slowly, I got to know others and others got to know me. It lead to me speaking to the community twice, to being invited other places to share my work, to spreading my ideas with awesome people, and to learning from creative women. Most importantly, it lead to developing friendships and a sense of belonging. The next SHE networking event is 28th March. If you sometimes think about coming to SHE but feel shy, worry you won't fit in or think it's not for you because you're not an entrepreneur, I'm going to challenge you right now. Sass & Julia - the founders of SHE - have given me 2 tkts for the A Life I Choose community. What I suggest is, you meet me there, we sit together, we get to know each other and other women better. And we have some fun 😊 All you have to do is follow @she.malta and send me a DM telling me WHY you want to come. I would love to have to opportunity to meet you, get to know you and introduce you to this awesome community that continues to bring me so much value. I'm looking forward to your message. 😉 Follow @she.malta Pic taken by @majda2me #networking #connection #women #iamshemalta #lovemalta #alifeichoose

Pete and I both get sucked into the world of "doing"... do more, be more, achieve more... bla bla bla. Sometimes we get so focussed on this mode and our work that we put each other to the side or on the backburner. We give our best to the world and then bring home our sloppy seconds. It's okay to do this sometimes but when we do this for too long, our relationship starts to struggle. Communication goes awry, we don't feel good together. We become dysregulated. Tonight on Let's Talk About Sex @with_melaniekelly , we speak about "How to prioritise love when you're busy AF". We delve into why prioritising love matters for our health, for our sense of safety and our ability to thrive in this world. It's good to be achieving. But don't forget to share and goof off with the people you love. Getting to the top won't taste 1/5th as sweet if you get there alone. LTAS is on @xfm100.2 tonight at 9pm. Watch Pete and I react to your assumptions about us in the link @emma_alifeichoose With love x #relationships #love #whylovematters #fulfilment #alifeichoose

Is it true that: Emma does more housework than Pete? 👩‍🍳 Emma makes Pete go to therapy?🙊 Pete is way more chilled than Emma? 😎 We never shout at each other? 👫 We react to your assumptions about us!😁 And get into a misunderstanding about our wedding day 😓😂👰🤵 Thank you for taking part in our Instagram poll! 😘 Link @emma_alifeichoose #love #relationships #selfdevelopment #alifeichoose

If you want anyone else to value you, you've got to value yourself first. As young girls, most of us learned to be submissive, to let others have their voices heard. Challenge the limiting beliefs you inherited when you were little! Let us see you and let us hear your beautiful voice! And let's make sure the little girls in our lives know that we want to see and hear them!! Happy Women's Day, my friends x #womensday #value #selfdevelopment #alifeichoose @luluhogg

Wasn't the weather just AWESOME today?! LOVED it! #sunshine #grateful #love

I'm not a religious person and I never used to do the whole Lent thing. But a few years ago, Pete and I used Lent to bet on who could last longer without their favourite food and I lost miserably. The year after, we decided to be kinder to each other and instead of depriving ourselves to see who would lose first, we challenged each other to commit to a daily practice that would help our relationship to deepen and grow. Not going to lie to you...the challenge wasn't easy and we almost broke up during the process. But we came out of it knowing each other better and our relationship had deepened. Since this experience, Lent has taken on a completely new meaning in my life. I look forward to it every year. And I use it as a time to challenge myself to grow in some way or to bring more nourishment to my life and the lives of those around me. If you want to know more about this story, watch the video I just uploaded to YT. Link @emma_alifeichoose Happy Lent... but first, Happy Pancake Day 😊 #selfdevelopment #goalsetting #goodhabits #love #selflove #alifeichoose

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