Ola my friends!
This is a great question and I’ve been thinking about people who are separated from their partners a lot. As most of you know, I live with Pete so I don’t have this challenge. I’m missing my family – my parents, nieces, brother, sister and sister-in-law. If Pete and I were apart during this time, I would miss him MASSIVELY!
Since it’s a time of uncertainty, it’s really easy to experience prolonged heightened fear and this gets in the way of our relationships, big time. Fear makes us misunderstand each other, it can make us doubt each other’s ability to take care of one another, it can lead us to become overly clingy or withdrawing.
So, whether you live together or apart, this time is challenging for all couples.
Boost your own mood
I’m going to be saying this over and over again in the next few months, the number 1 thing to be focusing on throughout this time, is choosing elevated emotions over fearful ones. There is a collective fear at the moment over health and economical threats. And the more we go into that fear, the more we weaken our own immunity and the less certain and creative we are when it comes to making choices in how we invest and make money.
So, to be able to think creatively, and also, to heal and recover and be strong physically, we need to be boosting our emotional state throughout the day. It’s important that we choose emotional states like gratitude, joy, love and courage. Whenever you notice yourself dip, you need to actively pick yourself back up.
This will make a difference in the way you feel towards your partner, it will make a difference in your ability to communicate clearly and calmly, and it will also make it so that you feel closer and more connected even with the distance.
How do you pick yourself back up?
- Be compassionate with yourself. When you’re in a fearful state rather than telling yourself off for being there, just forgive yourself, acknowledge this is a hard time and choose again.
- When I say “choose again”, I mean ask yourself, what’s 1 thing I can do to raise my vibration? You answer, by tuning into what you need. Sometimes what you need is to rest and chill (ex. do a gratitude practice, meditate, watch a series), and sometimes you need action and connection (ex. do a workout, listen to feel-good music, call a friend). So, listen to your body and trust yourself to choose nourishment over destruction.
Get really creative in the ways you stay in touch.
As absurd as this may sound, we’ve never been more blessed for something like this to happen! We have so much technology to help us stay connected, it’s incredible. So, use the technology you have to connect with your partner.
- You can agree on something to cook together on Skype.
- You can Facetime and answer “36 Questions to fall in love” and deepen your soulful connection through these questions.
- You can write a story together – one of you writes a paragraph or a chapter and the other writes the next.
- You can write a poem to each other everyday; Pete and I had done this for 40 days once and it really deepened our connection and understanding of each other.
- If you’re the physical type, you can work out together.
- You can Skype and watch a series together with some popcorn.
- You can also keep the sexual connection going by taking any of the writing suggestions and giving them a sexual, desirable twist. And obviously, you don’t need me to tell you that you can send each other sexy pictures!
The most important thing is that you choose to view this time as an opportunity not a loss. It’s an opportunity for you to deepen your spiritual and soulful connection with each other.
This time can be massively, positively impactful so long as we choose for it to be.
I hope you found my answer helpful. Please do ask more over on my Insta stories, I’m very happy to be in dialogue with you.
If you’d like to use this challenging time as an opportunity to develop an even more resilient mindset, you’re welcome to contact me to organise a complimentary online Lifestyle Strategy Session during which we’ll discuss the best way forward for you to THRIVE.
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