When we don’t know how to decode our feelings of jealousy and envy, they can run havoc in our lives creating the exact scenarios we fear the most. Here’s how to understand what’s going on.
When Lent comes round, I like to challenge myself with a new practice. This year, touched by Russell Brand’s book, “Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions”, I decided to look at my relationship with alcohol. Russell really drilled into my head that everyone has some kind of addictive behaviour, whether it be with our phones, sugar, alcohol…. And if I’m really honest with myself (and with you), as well just enjoying the taste of good alcohol, I sometimes notice myself using it in a compulsive way.
We know that understanding our emotions helps us to navigate our social worlds. But when you’re dealing with an emotion like jealousy, it’s not easy to make sense of it. We often feel like losers when we experience jealousy. We’re told that we shouldn’t feel jealous; that it’s not flattering and we should just get over it. But jealousy happens; it’s a normal biological response, and when we choose not to pay attention to it, we’re likely to create exactly what we want to avoid.
It’s hard to feel connected in a world that is so gravely disconnected. We spend so much time looking at our screens, but when was the last time you really looked at someone? I don’t mean like catching a glimpse of someone, and I don’t mean staring either – you’re not actually looking at anything when you’re staring – I mean, looked with curiosity, without judgement, just looked.
Chloe’s face gets hot as her heart pounds and she uses all her energy to constrain herself from hitting her boyfriend in the face.
Adam seems to have forgotten about Chloe and he’s in his charming mode; sounds of playful delight bouncing between him and a tall, slim, brunette. Big dark brows, green seductive eyes, perky tits. She sounds Spanish.
You sent me such an interesting challenge this year. I got a bilateral dissection in my carotid arteries (i.e. a tear in the two arteries that supply the majority of the brain with blood), and it resulted in me having a temporary stroke.
I was lucky… All I lost was sensation in the right side of my face, and most of it has come back. At the same time, this was a really difficult time for me.