On the way to Pete’s 2nd birthday surprise, we get blocked in our garage by a lifter without a permit, and the same thing happens later that day. I speak about the self-serving nature that’s driving a lot of the construction situation in Malta. I go into what’s happening neurologically when greed kicks in – greed is driven by fear, which means that people who are behaving in self-serving ways are being driven by their fight or flight system and have not trained their prefrontal cortexes to be in control. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for compassion and forward-thinking and is the most human part of the brain.
I wake up with a vulnerability hangover and process it with you – what caused it and how to let it go. We speak about how fear protects us from shame and how we can heal shame with self-compassion so we can move forward in our dreams and goals!
On this episode of Let’s Talk About Sex, Mel and I speak about situations that threaten the togetherness of the couple and trigger our fear response. Think: an in-law who doesn’t like you, some woman flirting with your man, or interests/hobbies that don’t include you. Situations like these cause us to feel unsafe and fear-driven.
When we’re fuelled by fear we make counter-productive decisions that damage the relationship even further – and it’s not because we’re stupid; there’s a biological reason why this happens! We speak about how to step out of this fear cycle so you can bring absolute SAFETY to your relationship, which is necessary for it to THRIVE.
I used to hate networking. Okay, let’s get real. I disliked any kind of social event really – parties, drinks at a bar, weddings. I’m the kind of person who could very happily read books all weekend, buried under blankets and drinking tea. It’s funny that I don’t have any cats to complete that scenario!
It’s not just that I’m more of an introverted character type. Socialising used to fill me with anxiety. I always felt awkward and out of place. The moment I’d walk into any type of social scenario, my first thought would be, “Where’s the bar?” And after getting my drink, my next thought would be, “Is it too early to go home?”
In the video below, I speak about how the anxiety I used to experience was negatively impacting my ability to grow my business. Once I understood what was underneath the anxiety, I was able to stop allowing it to take over. Socialising has become easier, I’m able to put myself out there more and consequently my business has grown!
For the past couple of months, every time Mike gets into bed, he suddenly begins to imagine that he is trapped in a confined space. He hates this thought! He doesn’t choose to have it, it just jumps into his head and however hard he tries to push it away, it keeps coming back to him. “This is ridiculous!” he tries to reassure himself, “I’m not trapped and I’m not going to be trapped!… But what if it happens?” And the fear invades his mental space again… and again… Until Mike has given up on the wish to sleep altogether and is in the living room soothing himself with tea and television.
We’ve all come across a child clinging to their mother’s arm for dear life. Crying in desperate hope that mummy won’t leave them at the party, begging her to take her back to the car instead.