I bet everyone reading this right now can think of a moment when you looked at your loved one and thought, “That’s so not hot”. Am I right?!
At the beginning of a relationship, it’s hot and steamy. If you’re lucky you’re looking at the other thinking, “DAAaaaaaaMMMmmnnnNNN!” As time ticks by, the novelty wares off. The way her collar bone is revealed as she pulls her hair into a high bun doesn’t instantly give you the urge to jump over and kiss her neck. Your partner undressing has become, well, just run of the mill, day-to-day getting dressed.
It’s a challenging one! We want long-term belonging and emotional support, but we want raunchy, hot lust too! We want someone to hold us when we get bad news, but we also want that same person to pull our hair and force us down. How do we have both in the same relationship after several years have gone by?