Is there sex after marriage? When sexual attraction dips in long-term relationships, are we doomed for a life-time of mediocre sex, or can we revive the passion in some way?
I bet everyone reading this right now can think of a moment when you looked at your loved one and thought, “That’s so not hot”. Am I right?!
At the beginning of a relationship, it’s hot and steamy. If you’re lucky you’re looking at the other thinking, “DAAaaaaaaMMMmmnnnNNN!” As time ticks by, the novelty wares off. The way her collar bone is revealed as she pulls her hair into a high bun doesn’t instantly give you the urge to jump over and kiss her neck. Your partner undressing has become, well, just run of the mill, day-to-day getting dressed.
It’s a challenging one! We want long-term belonging and emotional support, but we want raunchy, hot lust too! We want someone to hold us when we get bad news, but we also want that same person to pull our hair and force us down. How do we have both in the same relationship after several years have gone by?
Here’s the YouTube video for “Why Do People Cheat?” on Let’s Talk About Sex on XFM 100.2 with Melanie Kelly!
If you’d prefer to listen to an audio recording, you can find this on Mixcloud.
What we’re speaking about:
- Why would someone cheat?
- Is it possible to recover from an affair?
- Can you prevent an affair from happening in the first place?
For the past 2 months, Mike has been flirting with Lindsey, his pilates instructor. It began with a spark he felt when she arranged his posture in class. It developed into smiles, winks, whatsapps, lingering chats after class, a coffee, a massage for his aching back muscles, until last week they allowed chemistry to break through restraint and they went all the way in the ladies’ showers at the gym.
What you don’t know about Mike is that he’s married! He and Jenny have been married for 8 years and they have 2 young kids. He met Jenny at university where they were both studying law. Mike felt instantly attracted to her fierce independence. She has always been very practical and stoic. Even though she loves her work, she didn’t make any fuss about letting it go to raise their children. She did what she felt was right to do and that was that.
They have a good life together: amazing children, great friends, close family members. But still, Mike is potentially jeopardising it all by being with Lindsey. Why would he do this?
When we don’t know how to decode our feelings of jealousy and envy, they can run havoc in our lives creating the exact scenarios we fear the most. Here’s how to understand what’s going on.